Sorry, Meijer
Don't want nobody fired
But I am from Detroit
So my straits are more dire
I'm extreme couponing
New detergent for my laundry
Saved a hundred dollars
And my heart is still pounding
I pick a pack of pickles
Paid a penny for a pear
I peeped some penny loafers
Paid a penny for a pair
Oh joy it's double coupon day
On top of that
At 2AM of everyday
They restock all the racks
So the world is now my oyster
Man, matter of fact
I bought two pounds of oysters
Got a quarter back
Notice that I…
Don't have a care on this Earth
I pay exactly
What this crap's worth
She paid 300 bucks
For that bag
I wear the free shirt
That came with her purse
I'm the worst, this I know
But I save Untold amounts of money
If I buy a paper for a dollar
On Sunday (dummies)

I'm the cheapest person
On the planet x3
But I know how to
Money manage x2
Guess what, chump
My reputation
You can not damage x3
I don't feel bad
When I turn cans in x2
Because that is ten cents
I didn't have before
Sometimes it feels
Like I've sinned for sure
Cause I take advantage of steals and deals
90% off a 5 course meal
Even if my date is embarrassed
She'll feel better
At the peak of the Ferris wheel
For real, I will become a freak
Cause I get geeked at the sight of my receipt

When you look at my bill
I know what you feel
Jealousy, envy, hatred, zeal
Now you lookin mad
While you spreading Grey Poupon
You should've checked the net
Living Social or Groupon
And really though
Who are you trying to impress
A $150 check won't get you under that dress
But if you need a friend
So you don't feel lonely
Buy one get one limited time only